facing uncertainty together

Greetings Nkenge,

Sitting in the waiting room at the hospital, I was struck by the numbers of women who now care for their parents. We all share, in a public way, the stages of our parent’s life that used to be carried on within the privacy of our respective extended families. And at the same time, the repetitive tasks
of our collective experiences (feeding, bathing, comforting, being present in the moment) creates an extended family in spirit as well as deeds.

As each person’s story emerges, you are reminded of the little blessings within your own. It occurred to me reading your message, that we both are blessed with mothers who are past 80 years old and, even with the all the difficulties they face, there are many families facing worse.

I am in a place where I know longer think of my Mom in terms of illness. For me, she still remains full in her being and that she continues to make decisions, express her will and that life continues in a different way. Your Mom, no doubt will quit smoking and in fact, making that change supports the effects of the strokes. My goal with my Mom, each day we have something to look forward to and in time, we will be home and/or together for the holidays. I tell Ella, there is time get well.

I believe the same for your Mom.

Abrazos,

Tm

Greetings Everyone,

As many of you know my Mom has struggled to stabilize her health for several years. This summer proved to be a tremendous challenge for her as she suffered two bouts of pneumonia.
She returned to the hospital three weeks ago in congestive heart failure cause by additional fluid around her heart and in her lungs.

On Tuesday, September 11, Ella underwent surgery to remove the fluid from her lungs and from around her heart. I am pleased to report, that at 86 years old, she came through with flying colors. Showing tremendous spirit and fortitude she endured an 11 hour wait for surgery, the actual operation and then left post-op in the early hours of Wednesday morning.

I spent the day with her yesterday, though groggy, she is in good spirits with minimal pain. Ella is aware of everything around her. Last night at dinner, she drank her soup and finished the orange Jell-O with very little help from me. She is able to communicate with her medical team who continue to give her excellent care. If the recovery stays on track, she should be home by the weekend or at the latest early next week. Once home she will require nursing care for the next three weeks, and daily assistance for the rest of her life.

Ella asked me to send this note to everyone thanking all of you for your prayers, light, love and positive energy. If you would like to send Ella a card or flowers, please use the address below:

Ella R. Howard
1362 Kenyon Street NW
Washington, DC 20010

With love and hugs,
Timah and Ella