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Monday, October 1, 2007

facing uncertainty together

Greetings Nkenge,

Sitting in the waiting room at the hospital, I was struck by the numbers of women who now care for their parents. We all share, in a public way, the stages of our parent’s life that used to be carried on within the privacy of our respective extended families. And at the same time, the repetitive tasks
of our collective experiences (feeding, bathing, comforting, being present in the moment) creates an extended family in spirit as well as deeds.

As each person’s story emerges, you are reminded of the little blessings within your own. It occurred to me reading your message, that we both are blessed with mothers who are past 80 years old and, even with the all the difficulties they face, there are many families facing worse.

I am in a place where I know longer think of my Mom in terms of illness. For me, she still remains full in her being and that she continues to make decisions, express her will and that life continues in a different way. Your Mom, no doubt will quit smoking and in fact, making that change supports the effects of the strokes. My goal with my Mom, each day we have something to look forward to and in time, we will be home and/or together for the holidays. I tell Ella, there is time get well.

I believe the same for your Mom.